What Is Oral Sex & How Do You Do It?
Have you heard of cunnilingus? Yup you’re right! It’s just a fancy word for oral sex on those who have vaginas. While it is an oral sex technique, many people also use toys like vibrators and dildos. If you are looking for some tips on oral sex, hacks or tricks to make it better, then you are at the right place.
What is Oral Sex?
Oral sex is exactly what the name suggests, it is when a person uses their mouth and sexually stimulate the genitals of their partner. Oral sex when performed on a woman is known as cunnilingus and you’ve probably heard people call it “eating out”. While when it is performed on a man it is called “fellatio” but normally people call it “blow job”.
What is A Blow Job? What is fellatio?
Whether you call it a blow job, fellatio or even giving head, it basically means giving oral stimulation to the penis. You might not know this but many women actually enjoy giving a blow job because it gives them a sense of domination over their partner which in turn arouses them. But no two people are the same so communicate with your partner what you like and don’t.
How to Give a Blow Job?
The number one rule of giving head is to actually want to give head. If you are not someone who enjoys giving head or maybe on that particular day you are not in the mood but are doing it just for the sake of your partner, trust me they will know. Saying that, also remember that if you are not comfortable with it, you don’t have to do it. Although it's oral stimulation, blow jobs are not all about the mouth, get your hands in the mix. So while their shaft is in your mouth you can use your hands to massage their balls. Many people are scared of gagging and while the sound of someone gagging on your penis might be hot for some it is a turn off for others. If you are scared of gagging you don’t have to take the entire penis in your mouth. You can touch the tip of your tongue to the roof of your mouth to cover your throat and your partner would probably not feel the difference and use your hand to stimulate the rest of the length.
How to Receive it?
Now, while most of you must have come across various articles that explain how to give a good head, you also need to know that there is also a way in which you can receive a blow job. Just remember these few simple things and they’ll come back begging to give you a blow job. I get it you want to stay in control but don’t shove your partner’s head. When women were asked why they hate giving a blowjob, one of the top reasons was that their partner kept pushing their heads and that made them uncomfortable. Tell them what you want instead of forcing them. You are not a paying customer so whatever you do with those hands, do not keep them behind your head and lie back. Touch your partner, hold their hair, pull it if they are into it and you can never go wrong with caressing their body. Your partner will get off on your pleasure so tell them what you like, be vocal! Moans and grunts for the win here. Although this should be obvious, hygiene is important. If you stink down there then they will say no matter what so wash up at least before. Last but not the least and probably the most important, warn your partner before you cum. This might not be the surprise they would enjoy and once you warn them they would guide you as to where they want you to finish.
What is Cunnilingus?
Simply put, cunnilingus is the act of performing oral stimulation on people with vulvas. It literally means to lick the vulva in Latin. Although in everyday life we do not use the word cunnilingus but instead say phrases like “eating out” or “going down”. Other words that people use for oral sex are ‘blow job’ or ‘fingering’ and others as well.
How to Give Cunnilingus?
No matter how nice it may be to have a step by step guide on how to perform cunnilingus, all people are different and their likes and dislikes are different. The first step is usually to ask your partner about what they like. Just take your time in exploring each other’s bodies and play around with different techniques, temperatures, pressures and speeds and ask them what they like.
But in any case, here is a basic guide that you could use when you are going down on someone.
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You can use your mouth, tongue, lips and even your fingers on the clitoris, vulva and even the insides.
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Many people believe that writing the alphabet on the clitoris with your tongue has been proven to be very pleasurable.
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Sucking the clitoris gently has also been pleasurable for many people.
How to Receive it?
While cunnilingus is one of the most explosive pleasures in the world, a lot of people are unsure or even uncomfortable about receiving it. If you don’t like oral sex or are not interested in trying it you don’t have to be a part of it. If blow jobs or going down aren’t you thing then there are many other ways to be intimate as well.
One of the biggest reasons people shy away from oral sex is because they are shy about how their genitals may look or taste. A vagina is a vagina and no matter how it looks or smells, it is normal. If you are that uncomfortable, a shower before may help in reducing the anxiety.
There is always some nervousness when you are trying new things and it is completely normal. If you do decide to partake in it, start with a partner who you can trust and even communicate your anxiety with. Just communicate with them throughout and if you like or dislike something then let them know.
Some Helpful Tips:
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Lay on your back and bend your knees.
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If you feel your mind wandering then try focusing on your breathing.
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To control the friction, move your hips against your partner’s mouth.
Can you get an STI from Oral Sex?
While getting pregnant from oral sex is not possible, there still is a risk of getting or passing an STI or even a bacterial infection. Dental dams may not be the glamorous way but it will still protect you from contacting an STI. Before using lubricants, remember that some lubricants have added sweeteners and that can irritate the natural pH of the vagina and cause an infection. The same is for the penis as well. To maximize protection from STIs during fellatio or a blowjob use a condom. Flavored condoms are actually made for this reason. Many people actually use flavored condoms for oral sex and keep the other condoms for intercourse.
What are some Oral Sex Variations?
The best positions are the ones that you and your partner are the most comfortable in and there are also multiple positions that you can try out. You can obviously try the table top, doggy and 69ing is the oldest trick in the book. You can also try the Venus Butterfly.
ALSO READ: What do you Think These Sex Terms Mean? |
Any Extra Tips ?
There are a few ways to up your game. Nipple play, toys like dildos or vibrators can increase the sensation. You can obviously experiment with temperature play, restraints, blindfolds, but make sure you decide on a safe word beforehand.
And no matter what, communication is the most important skill you need, let your partner know that you are enjoying yourself.
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Stephanie Sally
April 13, 2024
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