7 Important Questions To Ask Yourself Before Defining The Relationship

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March 29, 2023 3 min read 29 Comments

What is Lust?

In simple terms lust is a sexual attraction towards someone. Although it might be the glue that actually draws you to someone and might also help you build a deeper connection at some point in your relationship. Some of us end up confusing lust with an expectation of wanting something serious with that person.

What is Love?

Love on the other hand is a bit more complex. Everyone has a different definition of what love is to them. In all of our history love is the most popular subject but still appears to be a mystery till date. If you see it from an attachment point, love is actually considered to be a basic human need. It is about trusting someone and accepting them for who they are flaws and all. Love is all about finding comfort and solace in the quiet company of another person.

Is Lust and Love The Same?

It's no wonder people have a hard time distinguishing between love and lust because of the same neural pathways involved in view of the self, goal-directed behavior, happiness, reward, and addiction. Love and lust can appear in any combination, with or without the other, and can even change between the two states over time.

While there might not be obvious differences between the two, ask yourself the following 7 questions before you actually define the relationship.

Why are you interested in the relationship?

If your interest in your partner is solely based on physical intimacy then that’s lust. Love is about getting to know a person and growing with them as individuals and as a couple.

Are you open to hard work?

Lust keeps the relationship at an ideal level where it is all sunshine and rainbows and you will never get out of the honeymoon phase. Love forces you to have difficult conversations and will make you discover painful emotions at some point.

How do you feel about accepting a person’s flaws?

If you are losing interest after discovering their flaws then you have been lusting after them. Love will teach you how to accept the positive as well as the negative qualities of the person, although this does put some people in toxic relationships without them realizing.

Where is the excitement coming from?

If it is the fantasy and physical intimacy that is exciting you in the relationship, you might need to take a step back from love. Actual love will feel risky and vulnerable and involves putting your walls down and letting yourself known to the other person.

Will it get better over time?

Lust gives you immediate satisfaction. Love takes time to develop commitment and trust between two people.

Do you feel a sense of security in the relationship?

Lust will make you feel desperate and impulsive while love gives you a sense of security in yourself and the other person.

Is there a feeling of obsession that you feel at any point?

Lust can feel like an addiction and it takes up a lot of mental space and is actually closely linked with infatuation. Love holds much more balance in your life and also gives a balanced perspective.

Getting into any emotional or physical relationship with someone can be vulnerable. At the point when we step into this obscure spot of heartfelt fascination, we can without much of a stretch wind up in an ocean of overpowering sentiments that can drive us to look for a feeling of safety and control.

In lust or love there are no rules, no correct way and no shoulds. You might end up falling head over heels after just one single night of passion. You can be friends with someone for years and one single touch can change your feelings and point of view. You can be in a long sexual relationship with someone and not fall in love at all. You can fall in love with a person who you aren’t sexually attracted to. Everything and anything can happen in love or lust.