Sex is a topic that can spark many complicated feelings. Even the most sex-positive folks can find themselves feeling confused and uncertain when reflecting on the arousing, erotic mental images — otherwise known as sexual fantasies — they conjure up in their head.
It is easy to get caught up thinking your innermost thoughts are deviant. But, chances are even your most taboo fantasies are normal and healthy. In fact, studies suggest that those who have sexual fantasies experience less anxiety and a greater sense of self-esteem.
Daydreaming about sex is completely normal, and acting on a shared fantasy may even help spice up a relationship. Just make sure that you establish consent and boundaries.
Romantic sex is different from many fantasies because there is no specified definition — what is romantic for one person may differ for another.
In theory, any kind of sex can be romantic. Romantic sex is a sexual relationship in which there's an emotional and erotic connection. It could be long and slow and sensuous, it could be tantric sex, it could, you know, have some BDSM involved in it.
Tantric sex, for example, is slow and doesn't fixate its end goal on orgasm. Instead, the goal of it is to focus on the entire sexual experience and any sensations it brings up.
Sex In the Great Outdoors
There’s something very rugged, primal and organic about having sex in a forest or in a field because you’re doing something natural in the most elemental place — in nature. And the men who love nature will easily start fantasizing about having sex in the wild. It could be a fantasy in the middle of the forest while the morning dew is beating on his back, on the beach or at the base of a mountain.
Mature: Experienced Women
A lot of straight men often fantasize about sex with an older woman who knows her body so well that the sex is incredible because of her ease and absence of inhibition. Women who’ve gained experience over the years also tend to know a man’s body better than younger women do. There isn’t the same pressure to get married or define the relationship and that makes the sex carefree and unencumbered, and she appreciates a man’s body more because of his youth — and sees the big picture, not just a little love handle situation going on, that younger women with “standards” might scoff at.
The older woman usually has her own money and a nicer place than younger women — or even the guy doing the fantasizing — so being wined and dined and whisked up to a house is part of the fantasy fun. This is a fantasy that’s about sex and luxury with no strings attached.
Domination: Blending Pleasure With Pain
For some men, the fantasy of domination, or having total power over their partner in a sexual situation, can be quite arousing. These types of fantasies typically include bondage, spanking, dirty talk, receiving oral sex, as well as other forms of expression. Getting a little Fifty Shades action going with your partner can be a lot of fun as long as it’s consensual. Yet you can even be dominating with your words and inside the mind. Yet that sometimes can lead to manipulation and abuse if you’re not careful.
Submission: Being Tied Up, Teased, and Spanked
Many men enjoy sexual fantasies in which the man is more of a passive player. A lot of men enjoy being submissive. It runs contrary to the way they experience their lives outside the bedroom. They enjoy being tied up, teased, tantalized, and spanked. It’s about feeling like you surrender control.