Is My Boyfriend Cheating On Me? 7 Early Signs To Be Aware Of

Call it a gut instinct or a nagging feeling that you can't quite shake—but whatever it is, something feels off. There is no foolproof way to know your partner is cheating besides having an open and honest conversation about the unease and uncertainty you're experiencing.

What is cheating?

Cheating is defined as the act of being emotionally or physically unfaithful to a partner while in a monogamous relationship. There are several different types of infidelity such as physical, online, financial, or emotional affairs. Cheating can fall into a murky area that, unless discussed, can and often does affect the relationship in negative ways.

READ MORE: 7 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

Because every relationship is different, the rules around cheating are, too. Much of this depends on what was established regarding relationship boundaries, and what the consequences are if these boundaries are violated. What one person may determine as cheating, isn’t necessarily the same in another relationship.

7 Early Signs Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You

There are many signs that could indicate your boyfriend is cheating. But, one of the most important and significant indicators comes from gut instinct. You cannot ignore this, and you shouldn’t.

You may start to feel that something is ‘off’ or that things ‘just don’t add up,’ which is usually the first indication that something is amiss. Still, apart from this, there are other signs that will help you determine if your boyfriend is cheating on you. These often manifest in emotional and physical distance, resulting in a disconnect between you.

1. Being super sneaky about their phone 

There are red flags you can spot in your boyfriend's behavior. One of the biggest early signs of cheating can be found in his technological habits. Look for sudden changes in behavior such as unexpected late-night phone calls, secretive text messages, or observe if they are suddenly glued to their phones even when you're in the same room. Other examples are hiding you on his social media by archiving posts or curating a social media presence where he appears single. 

2. Comparison statements make a presence

A man may hide his affair all he wants, but sometimes, he could also slip. Has he said any weird comparative statements like, "Why can't you be more outgoing?" or "Why don't you take care of yourself?" Suddenly, he has a different standard, and he only notices what you lack instead of your strengths. This could mean that he's comparing you to someone else.

3. You don’t talk as often

He goes home tired or busy that he forgets to ask about your day. Sometimes, even if it is his day off, he needs to go somewhere or needs to unwind. He always looks at his phone or spends extra time in the bathroom.

When you have him all alone, he would rather sleep than cuddle and talk. You would feel these changes because they’re pretty obvious. Some signs don’t need to be said out loud because your heart would know.

4. Being critical of you

Hostility is a surefire way to create distance and dysfunction in a relationship. If he's criticizing incessantly, he could be struggling with that stressful project at work, or- taken to its extreme- he could be feeling guilty about their indiscretion. He might also nitpick some of your behaviors he was fine with before as a way to subconsciously justify why he is stepping out of the relationship to have someone else meet his needs.

5. Shifting the blame 

Accusing you of cheating is a typical response of a man who is being unfaithful. It’s a way for him to project his wrongdoings or guilt. If he becomes irrational and has started asking if you’re cheating, chances are, he’s hiding something. By being suspicious and blaming you for the sin, he can reverse the situation and be the victim. 

6. Excuses don’t add up

He makes up excuses for why he cannot do something, where he was, or who he was with. The story changes and things don’t make sense. When a person is being honest, their story is always the same. If he is lying to you, he will have a hard time remembering what he said initially. He may say different things when explaining himself, or his timeline may shift. The more you question him, the more likely he might gaslight you, saying you are being nosy or asking too many questions.

7. Behavior towards you also changes 

Perhaps there was a time in your relationship when they would have dropped anything to be with you. Now, they almost seem uninterested in your life and more involved in their routine and schedule. Their attitude has changed, and it's impacting the relationship. You feel like they're too busy for you, which may leave you feeling needy and insecure.